April 10, 2011 270 Time to Reset
Worked so hard to lose those last 10 pounds and now put them back on this last week. Have to be careful of our thinking. There is a tendency to think "aha, this time I've got the good food choices completely under control." It's the disease of being addicted to food. Hard to admit that but I guess food is my drug of choice to cover feelings I don't like. Now all I need to do is figure out what those feelings are and try to feel them instead of stuffing them. That's the only way this weight will come off and STAY off. Phew.
I spent the whole week mainly being a couch potato and catching up on recorded programs from the 11 days I was gone. Eating all my meals of course, even though not hungry and doing nothing to burn off those food calories. There is plenty to do around here but evidently the work isn't high on my list. LOL Need to discipline myself better and get a system going in the upcoming future. I was asking for the weight gain with all the eating and sitting around. I knew that even as it was going on but didn't change it. It will be different this coming week. Somehow I interpreted it quietly at some point, as a treat, as a deserved reward for accomplishing all I did. Stinkin thinkin. Has to change.
New day a comin'
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
April 5, 2011 269 Hanging in There Even Tho Being Stuck In Place
April 5, 2011 269 Renewing My Commitment
Just spent a week with the family and was not counting calories. However did a lot more moving around, climbing stairs daily and walking the LONG concourses at the airports. The scale on my first morning back showed a 4 pound loss from the morning I left at which was 271. Time to get serious especially about portion control. Have to be careful about feeling deprived or allowing myself to get TOO HUNGRY. Found the big hunger feelings make me want to throw all control to the wind.
Even though I have been overweight since I was 7 years old, I didn't start thinking about food all the time until I was married and had children and was responsible for feeding everyone and in fact had to think about what was I going to fix for dinner, even before having breakfast. WOW Didn't think about THAT until right now. I never have been a "taster" but evidently after taking care of everybody else's needs and being required to do WHAT I DON'T WANT TO DO I "treat" myself once I have taken care of business. Other responsibilities lead to me NEEDING and CRAVING carbs. If I eat enough and have carbs included, it seems I can make it through the next hours without thinking about food. Even a LITTLE hunger feeling (and I mean barely a twinge that is not even consciously discernable) will start me searching for something to eat, and it won't be broccoli.
Read a very good book called "I Want" by Jane Velez-Mitchell. Many insights that apply to me and made me realize that an addictive personality is obviously what I have. I think it's hilarious how now that they have done testing on normal weight and overweight people, where they had their brain wired, saw that when they showed a malted milk drink to them..... the overweight had the same portion of their brain light up just as drug addicts do when shown drugs. The normal weight brain didn't change. DUH We've been telling people for years that our response to food is different than..... That confirms the fact that we have to work our good choices DAILY. Be on top of it ONE DAY AT A TIME! We can do this gang!
Never give up!
Just spent a week with the family and was not counting calories. However did a lot more moving around, climbing stairs daily and walking the LONG concourses at the airports. The scale on my first morning back showed a 4 pound loss from the morning I left at which was 271. Time to get serious especially about portion control. Have to be careful about feeling deprived or allowing myself to get TOO HUNGRY. Found the big hunger feelings make me want to throw all control to the wind.
Even though I have been overweight since I was 7 years old, I didn't start thinking about food all the time until I was married and had children and was responsible for feeding everyone and in fact had to think about what was I going to fix for dinner, even before having breakfast. WOW Didn't think about THAT until right now. I never have been a "taster" but evidently after taking care of everybody else's needs and being required to do WHAT I DON'T WANT TO DO I "treat" myself once I have taken care of business. Other responsibilities lead to me NEEDING and CRAVING carbs. If I eat enough and have carbs included, it seems I can make it through the next hours without thinking about food. Even a LITTLE hunger feeling (and I mean barely a twinge that is not even consciously discernable) will start me searching for something to eat, and it won't be broccoli.
Read a very good book called "I Want" by Jane Velez-Mitchell. Many insights that apply to me and made me realize that an addictive personality is obviously what I have. I think it's hilarious how now that they have done testing on normal weight and overweight people, where they had their brain wired, saw that when they showed a malted milk drink to them..... the overweight had the same portion of their brain light up just as drug addicts do when shown drugs. The normal weight brain didn't change. DUH We've been telling people for years that our response to food is different than..... That confirms the fact that we have to work our good choices DAILY. Be on top of it ONE DAY AT A TIME! We can do this gang!
Never give up!
Monday, March 7, 2011
MARCH 7, 2011 MARCHING ALONG
March 7, 2011 265 Marching Along on the Journey - Heading for Goal
Bought a new food scale and will get EXACTwith measuring in order to get the pounds to let some of their "friends" go. LOL Need to march on down, seriously, at this time and think I am in a space where I am able to handle that. Was reading a section dealing with loss, in a James Van Praagh entitled "Healing Grief". It pointed out to me why I have been going slowly with packing up to move. The book points out how moving is a loss that causes grieving.... that is additional anxiety and stress. Almost everyone has been after me to move back to be near the kids. My spouse died 5 years ago and I've been doing the best I can since then. Adding weight loss to the struggle, I wasn't able to do, until last July. I wanted it to be better than all the times before when I lost weight, because those other times, I gained it all back- PLUS. As Dr. Phil says "To get different results we have to do different. " I am approaching this differently. Since July I have not measured my food except on occasion. Now I will make it constant. Portion control might need improvement in my journey.
Each decision makes a difference and I have to remember that. One small mistep will lead to a bigger one. I won't do the "all or nothing" thinking but be aware - - very aware all day long.
Make each choice count.
Nancy
Bought a new food scale and will get EXACTwith measuring in order to get the pounds to let some of their "friends" go. LOL Need to march on down, seriously, at this time and think I am in a space where I am able to handle that. Was reading a section dealing with loss, in a James Van Praagh entitled "Healing Grief". It pointed out to me why I have been going slowly with packing up to move. The book points out how moving is a loss that causes grieving.... that is additional anxiety and stress. Almost everyone has been after me to move back to be near the kids. My spouse died 5 years ago and I've been doing the best I can since then. Adding weight loss to the struggle, I wasn't able to do, until last July. I wanted it to be better than all the times before when I lost weight, because those other times, I gained it all back- PLUS. As Dr. Phil says "To get different results we have to do different. " I am approaching this differently. Since July I have not measured my food except on occasion. Now I will make it constant. Portion control might need improvement in my journey.
Each decision makes a difference and I have to remember that. One small mistep will lead to a bigger one. I won't do the "all or nothing" thinking but be aware - - very aware all day long.
Make each choice count.
Nancy
Sunday, March 6, 2011
MARCH 6, 2011 GOING to HAVE A GOOD DAY
March 6, 2011 265 Going to Have a Good Day
Had a good day yesterday food choice wise, and will have another today. Am happy about the number on the scale - and realize that the "all or nothing" thinking is not the way to lose weight and KEEP it off. By plateauing myself for a week, I had a chance to get used to a smaller frame and am ready to have another drop. Am watching calories and think the body gets used to a certain weight and fights to hang in that space. Just like with walking or exercise in general, after a while we need to change out our routine to get the body to move on. Otherwise it fights to stay put when the routine is the same day after day.
Wisdom for Day: Every day counts. Don't let the numbers on the scale throw you - the scale is just a measuring device for tracking.
Nancy
Had a good day yesterday food choice wise, and will have another today. Am happy about the number on the scale - and realize that the "all or nothing" thinking is not the way to lose weight and KEEP it off. By plateauing myself for a week, I had a chance to get used to a smaller frame and am ready to have another drop. Am watching calories and think the body gets used to a certain weight and fights to hang in that space. Just like with walking or exercise in general, after a while we need to change out our routine to get the body to move on. Otherwise it fights to stay put when the routine is the same day after day.
Wisdom for Day: Every day counts. Don't let the numbers on the scale throw you - the scale is just a measuring device for tracking.
Nancy
Saturday, March 5, 2011
March 5, 2011 RENEWED COMMiTMENT
March 5, 2011 267 Renewed Commitment - Only Good Food Choices Today
Am surprised at the numbers on the scale as the past week has been daily high caloried high fat food choices. Figured out I had too many responsibilities, large decisions to make, and a few other happenings that were anxiety causing for me. Awareness is the answer to not letting that happen again. When there is something big happening in my day guess I need to limit other "have to's" to three. Some expert stated or I read that that when a parent/caretaker makes too many stops when out shopping in a day, it is too much for a child. You see behavior problems. Guess even though I'm far from my childhood, that applies to me concerning weight loss.
Need to share this with you some excerpts from the book "Days of Healing Days of Joy" - -
There is no such thing as standing still. We either inch along forward or slip backward. All that we have gained can be lost forever. Our lives are not soap operas. The issues we are dealing with are real, serious and important. The stakes are high and in some areas of our lives, unrecoverable. The idea is not that we have to be perfect, BUT EVERY LITTLE SLIP IS AN INVITATION TO A LARGER ONE. Recovery is so important that EVEN THE INCHES MAY BECOME CRITICAL.
Today my motto will be that every decision throughout the day regarding food choices, is critical.
Nancy
Am surprised at the numbers on the scale as the past week has been daily high caloried high fat food choices. Figured out I had too many responsibilities, large decisions to make, and a few other happenings that were anxiety causing for me. Awareness is the answer to not letting that happen again. When there is something big happening in my day guess I need to limit other "have to's" to three. Some expert stated or I read that that when a parent/caretaker makes too many stops when out shopping in a day, it is too much for a child. You see behavior problems. Guess even though I'm far from my childhood, that applies to me concerning weight loss.
Need to share this with you some excerpts from the book "Days of Healing Days of Joy" - -
There is no such thing as standing still. We either inch along forward or slip backward. All that we have gained can be lost forever. Our lives are not soap operas. The issues we are dealing with are real, serious and important. The stakes are high and in some areas of our lives, unrecoverable. The idea is not that we have to be perfect, BUT EVERY LITTLE SLIP IS AN INVITATION TO A LARGER ONE. Recovery is so important that EVEN THE INCHES MAY BECOME CRITICAL.
Today my motto will be that every decision throughout the day regarding food choices, is critical.
Nancy
Friday, March 4, 2011
March 5, 2011 STILL STRUGGLING
March 5, 2011 Still Struggling Up to 268
It seems to be there is a part of me that wants to make sure I am not going to succeed. Every time I get too close to 260, even though I'm not hungry, I binge late into the night. What is going on! Can't put my finger on any feelings either, that I know are triggers. Am I afraid of the household decisions that are in front of me? Can that possibly be a very subtle, underlying fear because of consequences? I would imagine having to make decisions that we're not at all sure of could send us to eating. There were things like that when I was smoking, 35 years ago, would send me to have a cigarette. Being responsible (now this is ringing a bell) for making a decision that has consequences - or maybe not even huge consequences, has a lot of stress involved. That stress leads to ..... Hmmmm The need to make the decision won't evaporate but my being aware can empower me to make better choices. Thanks for listening. This will stop the runaway train of overeating in the coming days, and I will succeed in reaching my goal.
Thanks for listening....
Nancy
It seems to be there is a part of me that wants to make sure I am not going to succeed. Every time I get too close to 260, even though I'm not hungry, I binge late into the night. What is going on! Can't put my finger on any feelings either, that I know are triggers. Am I afraid of the household decisions that are in front of me? Can that possibly be a very subtle, underlying fear because of consequences? I would imagine having to make decisions that we're not at all sure of could send us to eating. There were things like that when I was smoking, 35 years ago, would send me to have a cigarette. Being responsible (now this is ringing a bell) for making a decision that has consequences - or maybe not even huge consequences, has a lot of stress involved. That stress leads to ..... Hmmmm The need to make the decision won't evaporate but my being aware can empower me to make better choices. Thanks for listening. This will stop the runaway train of overeating in the coming days, and I will succeed in reaching my goal.
Thanks for listening....
Nancy
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
March1, 2011 Still Struggling
March 1, 2011 265 Will the Struggling Ever End?
Spent the better part of the morning chopping vegetables for a stir fry. Made a salad with some of those chopped veggies. Now this was early this morning - before breakfast. Felt good about getting the day's meals prepared, but some part of me must have felt "put upon" as I had ice cream in the house and chose that over the salad for dinner. Counted the calories until I hit the ice cream. Old behaviors! I realize each time I lost weight it was a form of "white knuckling" the deprivation of food. When I reached my goal, I slowly would gain. I see now those gains were due to food binges and it would take a long while to get back to the proper food choices. Anger, upset, being stressed over everyday happenings that didn't go smoothly, feeling unappreciated, being insulted and not answering back-then being angry at myself were all reasons for me to turn to food. Then I'd keep on going until somehow there was a strong enough reason for me to want to be "in shape". Then back "on the wagon" with all or nothing thinking being the rule. As soon as there was a slip, it was "Oh the heck with it" thinking. I guess this tells me I need to watch the "thinking"! There are visual triggers (t.v.) ~ thought triggers ~ memory triggers ~ the negative memories about being in shape turning me off to sticking with it. Lots to overcome. No wonder this is so had and so easily undone. The "composition of certain foods" act as addiction triggers and are next to impossible to overcome. Therefore can't have those in the house. I ralize a lot of taking off the weight was for what others thought was wanted for THEM! This has been a portion of time for me to fid what I want and what I want for ME! The bad cycle has been clicked to good for ME.
Nancy
Spent the better part of the morning chopping vegetables for a stir fry. Made a salad with some of those chopped veggies. Now this was early this morning - before breakfast. Felt good about getting the day's meals prepared, but some part of me must have felt "put upon" as I had ice cream in the house and chose that over the salad for dinner. Counted the calories until I hit the ice cream. Old behaviors! I realize each time I lost weight it was a form of "white knuckling" the deprivation of food. When I reached my goal, I slowly would gain. I see now those gains were due to food binges and it would take a long while to get back to the proper food choices. Anger, upset, being stressed over everyday happenings that didn't go smoothly, feeling unappreciated, being insulted and not answering back-then being angry at myself were all reasons for me to turn to food. Then I'd keep on going until somehow there was a strong enough reason for me to want to be "in shape". Then back "on the wagon" with all or nothing thinking being the rule. As soon as there was a slip, it was "Oh the heck with it" thinking. I guess this tells me I need to watch the "thinking"! There are visual triggers (t.v.) ~ thought triggers ~ memory triggers ~ the negative memories about being in shape turning me off to sticking with it. Lots to overcome. No wonder this is so had and so easily undone. The "composition of certain foods" act as addiction triggers and are next to impossible to overcome. Therefore can't have those in the house. I ralize a lot of taking off the weight was for what others thought was wanted for THEM! This has been a portion of time for me to fid what I want and what I want for ME! The bad cycle has been clicked to good for ME.
Nancy
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)