March 5, 2011 STILL STRUGGLING

March 5, 2011  Still Struggling   Up to 268

It seems to be there is a part of me that wants to make sure I am not going to succeed.  Every time I get too close to 260, even though I'm not hungry, I binge late into the night.  What is going on!  Can't put my finger on any feelings either, that I know are triggers.  Am I afraid of the household decisions that are in front of me?  Can that possibly be a very subtle, underlying fear because of consequences?  I would imagine having to make decisions that we're not at all sure of could send us to eating.  There were things like that when I was smoking, 35 years ago,  would send me to have a cigarette.  Being responsible (now this is ringing a bell) for making a decision that has consequences - or maybe not even huge consequences, has a lot of stress involved.  That stress leads to .....   Hmmmm   The need to make the decision won't evaporate but my being aware can empower me to make better choices.  Thanks for listening.  This will stop the runaway train of overeating in the coming days, and I will succeed in reaching my goal.
Thanks for listening....
Nancy