10/23/2011 ANOTHER DAY IN GOOD FOOD CHOICES

SUNDAY   October 23, 2011     WILL MAKE IT A GOOD CHOICE DAY

Having a hard time with evening snacking.  Am making a choice right now to stop poor choices when I want an evening snack.  Intend to cook veggie soup to have as a healthy, positive snack anytime of the day of evening.  All the commitments I've made before this evidently haven't been as strong as wanting chocolate or other good tasting sweet or salty.  An expert on TV just said " whoever or whatever controls your saratonin and 2 other hormone levels"  Salt, Sugar & Fat of course trigger these and have you wanting more.  3 days of doing without any reflined sugar, fat and salt can change that craving - so they say.  I am going to test that.
Till next time.

10/21/2011 ANOTHER DAY OF MONITORING

   FRIDAY     10/21/2011                    SLOW  AS  A SNAIL  -  OR SO IT SEEMS

We always want more weight coming off with each weigh in than what we get.  What is that?  Any amount in the downward direction is good.  We need to work this weight loss into our lifestyle in order to make it a permanent loss.  We HAVE to keep that weight off to be healthy.  The yo-yo activity that is all too easy to happen,  has to be eliminated forever.  One day of giving ourselves some 100 calorie treat to keep the pendulum from swinging to the opposite corner and causing an urge to binge that is almost impossible to overcome.  Enough said.  This tells you what I am dealing with at this time.  I have been under the weather and realize when I don't feel good I give myself permission to eat whatever I want.  Have to get a handle on that.  More later.

10/8/2011 True Growth & Weight Loss is Slow!

10/8/2011  Saturday      MARCHING ON

It is WORK and BEING AWARE of what we put in our mouths, in order to succeed in this weight loss journey.   Seems so many food items slip in there without our paying attention.  Guess where all these extra pounds came from - - -  These extra pounds didn't come out of the air!  LOL

Read this at the Daily Motivator site, Ralph Marston and think it applies here:
Growth and improvement come from attempting to do what you previously could not do.  Real, valuable learning comes from working to understand and to master what you previously have not known.


Till Next Time ~

10/6/2011 THURSDAY STILL IN THERE WALKING DOWN THE ROAD

                               HAPPILY PROGRESSING TOWARD THE GOAL!!!
Have not been denying myself in the food department and have slowly been lowering the number on the scale.  That's a good thing.   Sometimes things just take time...  Been trying to get back to an expected "normal" weight since I was 8 years old.  Kids are cruel and I experienced that, as have most other overweight children.  By feeling FAT and dieting starting after I learned how to diet at age 15.  As others have found, I managed to get fatter and fatter after each dieting "spell" - because within a year of getting to whatever lower weight, I would bounce up to not only where I started, but above that number.  I refuse to diet anymore.  I am slowly changing living habits and proclaim I WILL be successful!
'Till Next Time~

10/4/2011 GETTING BETTER ALL THE TIME

Another day smarter when it comes to finding out how the body processes food.  Losing weight is not simply calories in - calories out.  If only it was as simple as that.  According to Dr. Drew if the same part of the brain is tickled that causes the same "NEEDING TO HAVE IT" reaction that drug addicts respond to, it is overpowering.   Someone on the new program "The Chew" said today that carbs & fats are comfort foods and they work, releasing serotonin - making you happy.   She said the trick is to not eat too large a serving or they add weight.  She obviously is not one of us that are grossly overweight.  She said to not deny yourself all those good tastes and a small amount will provide the happy without the weight gain.  I have a feeling it doesn't take too much for me, to make me want MORE and MORE before I feel satisfied.  Is it the AMOUNT of fat that is the trigger?   Does that mean  I'm addicted to carbs?  Do I need to choose to not eat ANY,  like an alcoholic needs to choose to drink NO ALCOHOL?  Hmmmm.  Something to ponder.
'Till Later

10/3/2011 MARCHING TO SUCCESS

Going to be a great day!  Food choices so far:  An orange for BREAKFAST and a piece of cheese.   Also had 2 cups of coffee with Almond milk.   They say to get your protein in each time you eat.  Bob from the Biggest Loser said if you eat a protein within the first half hour of getting up in the morning, it revs your metabolism for the day.  LUNCH Activia, 2 boiled eggs and piece toast.  DINNER shrimp salad with Fat Free Paul Newman Sesame Ginger Dresisng & Turkey Burger.  EVENING SNACK 7 walnuts & an apple.

10/2/2011 GOING TO BE A GREAT DAY

SUNDAY  10/2/2011    Perfect day, weather wise - humidity down and temp in the 80's.  Turned the air conditioner off for the first time in I can't remember how long!  Am going to make it a PERFECT DAY with my food choices too.  Had 1/4 cup cottage cheese,  1 slice of bread and 2 cups of coffee with Non-Fat Almond milk.  Lunch was 1 slice toast with 3 oz. 98% fat-free ham and an apple.  Really lingered over each bite and realized how quickly I would chew something once or twice and swallow.  Sometime I would even add more food while there was still food in my mouth - not tasting really.  Thought I was but just taking mega time today makes me realize I rush through my food.  Was tempted to (but did not) take a swallow of liquid before I was even finished chewing!  Holy cow!  No wonder my poor taste buds clamor for MORE FOOD!  Since the Dr. Oz show had the segment on tastebuds and Anderson Cooper having the expert on different tasting abilities of people from birth - I realize my poor taste buds were screaming for QUANTITY in order to be satisfied.  All the behavior modification tricks emphasize how our body systems will get what they need one way or another.  LOL  Anyway, am feeling good about what I have accomplished so far today.  Hope you do too.

NEW MONTH - FRESH START

10/01/2011   Sat.   NEW START - - - GREAT HOPES

Going to have a calorie budget of 1200-1500 daily.  Sean Anderson, whose blog was inspirational to me, used the system of a calorie bank account to stay in line.

Am getting ready to have my niece visit.  Hope all the exercise pays off.  LOL  Need this commitment to be super serious with the rewards that follow.  All the quick negative messages that hit me every time I state or think a firm commitment, have to be deleted.  Never thought the road would be smooth but come on!  Hundreds of rocks?  Am prepared to squash the chatterbox.  Must be prepared for themessages to return over and over, because I hear that is what they do because they are deeply embedded.  New messages are needed.


 

NEED A NEW APPROACH TO BE SUCCESSFUL

9/30/2011                                          CONTINUING ON THE JOURNEY

Decided to start writing down EVERYTHING I eat to keep my calorie count exact.  That hopefully will tell me if I am able to take off excess weight with the amount of activity in my life - which isn't a whole lot.  I intend to do something everyday to improve that.   At the end of the day I will add the exact food I ate today.  What a cross this has been throughout my life.  I still have hope that there is a chance to correct this to have the best life I can.   I am going back to re-read Sean Anderson's blog "The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser" where he wrote daily what his search involved.  He doesn't write daily there anymore but what he DID write still applies.  We'll see how it helps my journey day to day.

Another Step In the Right Direction

9/17/11     FEELING GOOD ABOUT FOOD CHOICES

Calorie wise I stayed under 1500 which I am setting as my new goal.  Was aiming at 1200 and din't make it under that.  Will see if that can cause some pounds to come off.  It has let me LIVE while walking toward my goal, so I hope 1500 daily will not be too high.  Even with eating out one evening over the weekend.  Didn't weigh this morning because my scale was not available, I was at my nephew's and celebrating his wife's birthday.  Had a lot of fruit & vegetables today.  Will see what happened with my weight loss.

9/14/11 SO FAR - SO GOOD

9/14/11     Didn't get done what I thought I would today outside of good food choices.  THAT deserves much appreciation by me for me.  Just need to make it through the night continuing good food choices.  These are my hard hours.  Will have to be super vigilant for the rest of my life.  Hope to be ready for the treadmill and exercise soon to increase my stamina and overall health.  The things needing doing around the house will wait till I get those two elements in place.  Food, exercise and regular living maintenance chores - - getting to those extra jobs (like painting the woodwork) after all that is in place.  On to success.

PERCEIVING FAILURE

9/14/11   WT:  271.4    FEELING LIKE A FAILURE

The numbers on the scale we are told over and over, to not let them affect us.   Today I can't believe that I'm back in the 70's.  Well, I can believe it because my food choices have been poor and seem consistently to start that way each day after 3:00 P.M.    Today I will be more vigilant and also get some movement into my day.  Just read ~

Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.   Henry Ford

Today is the day I do that and I am choosing Wednesday to be my weigh in day.  Once a week after this, not every day.  Although it helps me squelch or at least be aware of the behavior that is causing the consequence, the down side of that is not worth it.  For now anyway, I am weighing once a week.

To The Grindstone

September 8, 2011    
WT:  267.2    

Not only does every step, every day counts......  but every hour.  Jillian Michaels said to set a clock for every hour through the day.  Stop and think each hour about what you are doing - if you are happy about what you are doing, fine.  If not, site correction is needed.  Sounds like a good idea.  Hourly check to see if I am in line with what I want.  Sure am aiming at getting into the "50's" and down from there.  Once I break out of the 60's will set my next goal.  

Back to Super Serious Mode

September 7, 2011    TOO LONG PLAYING - TIME TO BE SERIOUS

Been gone too long from a daily accounting.  The journey was too filled with looking back at accomplishments.  Time to look ahead.  Have to remember we are only as good as our very last ballgame, and what we are willing to do NOW.  Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps - will lead to a quantum leap.  DAILY activity counts a lot.  Have so often figured "this one time won't count" and it counts a lot!  It could open the door to throwing in the towel completely.  If not quite that bad,  because it seems I come down on myself over and over because of my weight, it can lead to other "just this time"-s.  I undo any good I might have done with calorie control   All that emphasis by me on my weight,  has had the opposite effect of what I wanted to accomplish!  Lose weight and keep it off.  I keep turning to things I LOVE the taste of, even though I'm not hungry.  The "super control" of eating what I know I SHOULD not be eating, undoes any calorie control I did over days before.  Guess I have to look at exactly what is it I REALLY want to accomplish.  Is it to make myself feel happy?  I have been wanting to eat all day today... partly a little hunger but even in between I want something good to eat!  Maybe I need to make sure I make a good meal every day because otherwise it adds up and I find it too hard to resist those "ATTACKS" that seem to happen at least once a week.  Perhaps if I got enough glucose in every day, this would level that out.  THAT and starting to move more.  There are people that feel they HAVE to move to feel good.  Once I START moving I know I feel better, and can keep at it daily.  TWO  important social phone calls a week.   Need to have at least ONE social engagement per week.  This will eliminate stress and depression.  You can put your heart back in your hands!
    I CAN DO THIS!  

April 22, 2011 CREATING A PERMANENT HEALTHY LIFESTYLE

April 22, 2011    WT. 270                   New Permanent  Healthy Lifestyle

Can't believe I haven't been here for as long as it's been.  Does this indicate where my attitude has been?  Have to admit that my weight has been stuck.

Joined SparkPeople again yesterday and intend for that to be a daily check up.  I have great hopes.  Not living on hope alone though.  Am ready to be very "present" in my food choices.

A big trick is to retain whatever we have accomplished.  That is going to be the larger challenge.  Been checking on my daily frustrations and realize there are even VERY SMALL things that add to the total of a sneaking up kind of food binge.  It isn't necessarily one big trigger.   That was new information for me.  Paying attention to the slight upset of getting a phone call when it disturbs what you are doing.  Wow!  That was surprising.  Phew.

Enough to digest for today.
Nancy

 

APRIL 10, 2011 WT. 270 TIME TO RESET

                                              April 10, 2011  270    Time to Reset

Worked so hard to lose those last 10 pounds and now put them back on this last week.  Have to be careful of our thinking.  There is a tendency to think "aha, this time I've got the good food choices completely under control."   It's the disease of being addicted to food.  Hard to admit that but I guess food is my drug of choice to cover feelings I don't like.  Now all I need to do is figure out what those feelings are and try to feel them instead of stuffing them.  That's the only way this weight will come off and STAY off.  Phew.

I spent the whole week mainly being a couch potato and catching up on recorded programs from the 11 days I was gone.  Eating all my meals of course, even though not hungry and doing nothing to burn off those food calories.  There is plenty to do around here but evidently the work isn't high on my list.  LOL Need to discipline myself better and get a system going in the upcoming future.  I was asking for the weight gain with all the eating and sitting around.  I knew that even as it was going on but didn't change it.  It will be different this coming week.  Somehow I interpreted it quietly at some point, as a treat, as a deserved reward for accomplishing all I did.  Stinkin thinkin.  Has to change.
New day a comin'  

April 5, 2011 269 Hanging in There Even Tho Being Stuck In Place

April 5, 2011  269   Renewing My Commitment

Just spent a week with the family and was not counting calories.  However did a lot more moving around, climbing stairs daily and walking the LONG concourses at the airports.  The scale on my first morning back showed a 4 pound loss from the morning I left at which was 271.  Time to get serious especially about portion control.  Have to be careful about feeling deprived or allowing myself to get TOO HUNGRY.  Found the big hunger feelings make me want to throw all control to the wind.

Even though I have been overweight since I was 7 years old, I didn't start thinking about food all the time until I was married and had children and was responsible for feeding everyone and in fact had to think about what was I going to fix for dinner, even before having breakfast.  WOW  Didn't think about THAT until right now.  I never have been a "taster" but evidently after taking care of everybody else's needs and being required to do WHAT I DON'T WANT TO DO    I "treat" myself once I have taken care of business.  Other responsibilities lead to me NEEDING and CRAVING carbs.  If I eat enough and have carbs included, it seems I can make it through the next hours without thinking about food.  Even a LITTLE hunger feeling (and I mean barely a twinge that is not even consciously discernable) will start me searching for something to eat, and it won't be broccoli.

Read a very good book called "I Want" by Jane Velez-Mitchell.  Many insights that apply to me and made me realize that an addictive personality is obviously what I have.  I think it's hilarious how now that they have done testing on normal weight and overweight people, where they had their brain wired, saw that when they showed a malted milk drink to them.....  the overweight had the same portion of their brain light up just as drug addicts do when shown drugs.  The normal weight brain didn't change.  DUH  We've been telling people for years that our response to food is different than.....  That confirms the fact that we have to work our good choices DAILY.  Be on top of it ONE DAY AT A TIME!  We can do this gang!
 Never give up!

MARCH 7, 2011 MARCHING ALONG

March 7, 2011   265    Marching Along on the Journey - Heading for Goal

Bought a new food scale and will get EXACTwith measuring in order to get the pounds to let some of their "friends" go.  LOL  Need to march on down, seriously, at this time and think I am in a space where I am able to handle that.  Was reading a section dealing with loss, in a James Van Praagh entitled "Healing Grief".   It pointed out to me why I have been going slowly with packing up to move.  The book points out how moving is a loss that causes grieving.... that is additional anxiety and stress.  Almost everyone has been after me to move back to be near the kids.  My spouse died 5 years ago and I've been doing the best I can since then.  Adding weight loss to the struggle, I wasn't able to do, until last July.  I wanted it to be better than all the times before when I lost weight, because those other times, I gained it all back- PLUS.  As Dr. Phil says "To get different results we have to do different. "  I am approaching this differently.  Since July I have not measured my food except on occasion.  Now I will make it constant.  Portion control might need improvement in my journey.

Each decision makes a difference and I have to remember that.  One small mistep will lead to a bigger one.  I won't do the "all or nothing" thinking but be aware - -  very aware all day long.

Make each choice count.

Nancy

    

MARCH 6, 2011 GOING to HAVE A GOOD DAY

March 6, 2011  265   Going to Have a Good Day

Had a good day yesterday food choice wise, and will have another today.  Am happy about the number on the scale - and realize that the "all or nothing" thinking is not the way to lose weight and KEEP it off.  By plateauing myself for a week, I had a chance to get used to a smaller frame and am ready to have another drop.  Am watching calories and think the body gets used to a certain weight and fights to hang in that space.  Just like with walking or exercise in general, after a while we need to change out our routine to get the body to move on.  Otherwise it fights to stay put when the routine is the same day after day.

Wisdom for Day:  Every day counts.  Don't let the numbers on the scale throw you - the scale is just a measuring device for tracking.

Nancy

March 5, 2011 RENEWED COMMiTMENT

March 5, 2011   267   Renewed Commitment - Only Good Food Choices Today

Am surprised at the numbers on the scale as the past week has been daily high caloried high fat food choices.  Figured out I had too many responsibilities, large decisions to make, and a few other happenings that were anxiety causing for me.  Awareness is the answer to not letting that happen again.  When there is something big happening in my day guess I need to limit other "have to's" to three.  Some expert stated or  I read that  that when a parent/caretaker makes too many stops when out shopping in a day, it is too much for a child.  You see behavior problems.  Guess even though I'm far from my childhood, that applies to me concerning weight loss.

Need to share this with you some excerpts from the book "Days of Healing Days of Joy" - -
There is no such thing as standing still.  We either inch along forward or slip backward.  All that we have gained can be lost forever.  Our lives are not soap operas.  The issues we are dealing with are real, serious and important.  The stakes are high and in some areas of our lives, unrecoverable.  The idea is not that we have to be perfect, BUT EVERY LITTLE SLIP IS AN INVITATION TO A LARGER ONE.  Recovery is so important that EVEN THE INCHES MAY BECOME CRITICAL.


Today my motto will be that every decision throughout the day regarding food choices, is critical.
Nancy

March 5, 2011 STILL STRUGGLING

March 5, 2011  Still Struggling   Up to 268

It seems to be there is a part of me that wants to make sure I am not going to succeed.  Every time I get too close to 260, even though I'm not hungry, I binge late into the night.  What is going on!  Can't put my finger on any feelings either, that I know are triggers.  Am I afraid of the household decisions that are in front of me?  Can that possibly be a very subtle, underlying fear because of consequences?  I would imagine having to make decisions that we're not at all sure of could send us to eating.  There were things like that when I was smoking, 35 years ago,  would send me to have a cigarette.  Being responsible (now this is ringing a bell) for making a decision that has consequences - or maybe not even huge consequences, has a lot of stress involved.  That stress leads to .....   Hmmmm   The need to make the decision won't evaporate but my being aware can empower me to make better choices.  Thanks for listening.  This will stop the runaway train of overeating in the coming days, and I will succeed in reaching my goal.
Thanks for listening....
Nancy

March1, 2011 Still Struggling

March 1, 2011  265   Will the Struggling Ever End?

Spent the better part of the morning chopping vegetables for a stir fry.  Made a salad with some of those chopped veggies.  Now this was early this morning - before breakfast.  Felt good about getting the day's meals prepared, but some part of me must have felt "put upon" as I had ice cream in the house and chose that over the salad for dinner.  Counted the calories until I hit the ice cream.  Old behaviors!  I realize each time I lost weight it was a form of "white knuckling" the deprivation of food.  When I reached my goal, I slowly would gain.  I see now those gains were due to food binges and it would take a long while to get back to the proper food choices.  Anger, upset, being stressed over everyday happenings that didn't go smoothly, feeling unappreciated, being insulted and not answering back-then being angry at myself were all reasons for me to turn to food.  Then I'd keep on going until somehow there was a strong enough reason for me to want to be "in shape".  Then back "on the wagon" with all or nothing thinking being the rule.  As soon as there was a slip, it was "Oh the heck with it" thinking.  I guess this tells me I need to watch the "thinking"!  There are visual triggers (t.v.) ~ thought triggers ~ memory triggers ~ the negative memories about being in shape turning me off to sticking with it.  Lots to overcome.  No wonder this is so had and so easily undone.  The "composition of certain foods" act  as addiction triggers and are next to impossible to overcome.  Therefore can't have those in the house.  I ralize a lot of taking off the weight was for what others thought was wanted for THEM!  This has been a portion of time for me to fid what I want and what I want for ME!  The bad cycle has been clicked to good for ME.
Nancy    

RESET. RE-COMMIT Feb. 28, 2011

Feb. 28, 2011  268    Reset, Re-Commit Again

And the journey goes on.Still discovering triggers that send me to HAVING to eat, even though not actually hungry.  Time to get back in control.  Have to admit I don't like the way my skin is looking with this latest weight loss.  Never had all these lines appear other times.  Have to keep telling myself "it's okay"!  

Am not exactly sure how I got to add to this blog but sure hope I'll be able to do it tomorrow.

Nancy

1/20/2011 Ready for a daily report

1/20/2011   Need to now go from 267 to 170.  That's 97 pounds.  I hit a high of 303 after my husband died and spent too much time - almost all my time on the couch.  Was able to do daily maintenance chores and very little else.  I have had a lifetime of "dieting" with stretches of "holding my weight at normal" for pretty long amounts of time.  I have journaled for years along with reading diet books, self help and other books.  A new approach (for me) to food choices..... no more giving up for days, months or years because I didn't stay 100% on plan.  I have progressed from last July 20th (weight 296) to 267 today.

Also learning to blog.  Have been reading blogs, starting with "Diary of a Winning Loser" and his followers, which were very inspiring - and helped me make this journey different than any of my previous attempts to get control of my life.

Realized I need to pay close attention to getting enough sleep and not letting myself get ravenous between meals.  Expect to get to my goal weight this year.  Will be back here tomorrow.
N~